What Do EMDR and Rotaries Have In Common?
You have to keep going around until you can get out.
The selection of memories for EMDR processing is not a free-for-all. (Think of processing as removing a negative emotional reaction to a memory and replacing a negative thought about self with a positive knowing about self). Some of the most important work to be done in EMDR is the selection of where to begin with the memories. In the case of most people interested in EMDR, and I venture to say, interested in therapy in general, there is not just one or two single difficult memories or concerns that have brought them to therapy. Normally, people come to therapy with early childhood wounds, intergenerational traumas, societal burdens, and untrue and harmful self-assessment of their inherent sense of goodness (read as lack of goodness). First, in session, we make a list of the client’s worst memories. Then, often, we do exercises to find memories, images, or impressions from even before birth (read more here).
You may be saying, um, I thought this was about rotaries? Well, the rotary metaphor comes in after the first three phases of EMDR have been completed with the client (history, preparation, assessment), and it is time to do the eye movements. People often ask me, “How long will it take for the memory to be finished?” I say, it takes as long as the body-mind needs it to take. In the beginning, the early foundational memories may take many, many sessions. Enter the roundabout!
Imagine you’re en route to…the movie theater, the beach, the ice cream store, any pleasant place you want to go. And you get in your car, begin your trek, and you come to a rotary. Now, imagine, the island in the middle of the rotary is your negative memory. You’re circling around in your car, and suddenly, wham! It’s a snowstorm. You’re stuck. You inch along. And that’s how it is when you are stuck in a negative memory, it’s like you’re living it again, you can’t escape. Not only that, all the arterial roads are thick with snow, which is the way the negative memory impacts future memories, tying them to the negative ways your body-mind considers itself because of that first harmful memory. In EMDR-speak, this process is sometimes referred to as “clearing out the channels.”
In EMDR we start shoveling out the rotary, but we must keep circling as we shovel to make sure we won’t get stuck again. At the same time, the arterial roads also need shoveling, as they are connected to the rotary (the negative memories). That’s the reason why, in EMDR, we return to the negative memory and allow the body-mind to draft to whatever it needs (the arterial road) until it is clear. We do this again and again.
So we need to shovel the rotary out AND we need to shovel all arterial roads so we can leave the negative memory behind. Once the rotary and the arterial roads are clear, you can drive off and enjoy our Sunday (or Sundae), having put the negative memory in its place: in the past.
